"I should"

While we were on our little family  beach vacation to Delmar, I knew there would be no way to continue to blog on only my phone. I kept thinking the whole time how "I should" take note about the zillions of thoughts, topics and ideas that were coming to mind the whole time. Didn't. Now as I am trying to establish A. what the heck the purpose of this blog is and B. How to create  a groove for writing and carve out some space for  writing time , I am trying to reprise some of those thoughts from earlier.

Here is the thing, I cannot allow  this to be a laboring chore or task that will feel like a failure if I do not complete regularly. Afterall, I want my daughters to read it someday and get a glimpse of how I observed them grow and my perceptions about the role of parenting. My husband "Lightman" often reminds me that could of , should of, would of SHOULD leave my vocabulary!

So for today, Ill say that our vacation was wonderful and special time spent with Grammy JoJo, Pop-tah Lou and Uncle T with many precious photos to share. Some days have passed since our return and a million moments that I loved being in with them but now fail to recall. TODAY we had a fun morning at the Oakland Zoo with 2 highlights..

1. Rainbow was like a Zoo docent which made me proud of her love of animals and ability to navigate.

2. Starlight was very clear using a repetitive NO that she indeed did not want to ride the merry go round.

Rainbow is eager for pre school which begins soon. Her bff "Lulu" started today and she drew him some comforting pictures  accompanied by a love note and we left them in his mailbox.

Much more on pre school topic to come.

What Day is it Momma?

With great anticipation our family is taking a little beach vacation starting tomorrow. We are all excited and looking forward to time with the waves! Each day Rainbow enjoys asking me while looking at the wall calendar (yes we still have one!) "what day is today ?" Everyday we discuss and she finds the number. Only recently we have begun to hand write in some upcoming milestones . I was renascent about doing this in order to limit anxiety about the future and truly preserve the moment. However, what I am learning by marking a few of these special events on in with a big blue sharpie, is that Rainbow is now counting the days to that event as well recalling what the events are. I am not observing anxiety but more of an anticipation of things in the near future of her life. Of course, breakfast after she awakens today is also very exciting;)

Play

What a thrill to watch these two play! It changes everyday and I am trying to learn when to stay out of it and when to join in.  Typically, if I don't hear any sound happening I feel the need to check in as that can mean they are up to no good (ie: coloring walls/furniture, climbing to the highest height of living room, or  eating something non edible!). Another cause for getting a visual is screeching loud cries out, usually from Starlight, given she has not acquired her language yet for full articulation for responding to Rainbow. But boy oh boy when she does!
The two have a plethora of toys and activities for  lots of imaginative play. Examples: different sized dolls, books, puzzles, things to draw on and with, stickers, instruments, dress up, farm, trucks, cars, blocks, kitchen complete with groceries and cart and a super fun activity to clean up after... play doh!
When all of this is out at once, I try to not start putting stuff away until I feel the lull. Yesterday, we had two different play dates .
I adore watching what that looks like!
My favorite moment though was when Rainbow and her girlfriend were playing with the shopping carts and dress up clothes and Starlight was following them and  it were as if they were young teens as they remarked "she is following us, run!"
Of course in the end she joined right in the game and no harm was done!
I never had a sister, (though my brother is the best!) so watching this relationship unveil is really awesome in every way!

No Day But Today

Probably since the birth of daughter #2 (code name: "Starlight"), I have said on a regular basis that I want to start a blog. There have even been days where I talked about it as if it were really going to happen. As if I had the spare bandwidth to add more to do each day. Today.... I m doing it and I cannot explain why or how the universe is providing me the portal of time to make it happen! Why wait any longer?Starlight is rapidly approaching 20 months and her big sister(code name: "Rainbow") is 7 weeks away from 4! So yes... today, right now is the perfect time to capture this moment with my fast changing girls without worrying that I don't have every single moment documented in print since they arrived on this earth! I have been living in the moment with them and I can't imagine it getting much better than that! 

Our family is currently experiencing some milestones and transitions this summer. In June we ended our long term nanny share . The best part of that departure is that the friendship of our two families is strong and precious as the two now pre-schoolers are like kin. Watching them grow together from babies to present has been a gift, as has been the time spent by our beloved nanny whom we often refer to as Mary Poppins! Coincidentally, the children lovvvvvvveeeee the story , music and characters of MP and are not shy about sharing it!Then towards the end of July our family had our last day full time with our blessed MP. She has been an incredible caregiver to the children in these  beginning years and allowed us so much confidence as we left our precious ones in her care 4 days a week.  
We were then blessed to have Grammy (code name:"JoJo") come and help out in the next transition post MP. Which brings me to today....

Today was the beginning of a newer role for me (code name: dancing momma) and where a new story begins of my relationship with my daughters, role in our family and image of self in the world. It all sounds a bit dramatic and big but I am a BIG over thinker and easily ruffled by misinterpretation of who I want to be  as a contributor to this world. Words that stick in my head from my newly former employer, constant mentor and dear friend are "life is long and there is SO much you can do. You can wear as many hats as you want all at the same time but know that they won't all have the same weight all at the same time."

Today on this fresh new day, Rainbow, Starlight and I ventured to the Bay Area Discovery Museum. First Wednesday of the month is free! As I stood amongst the many children and parents navigating the 100% hands on exhibits, I wondered if anyone else was feeling like I was ? I felt grateful to be there in the beautiful Marin Headlands watching (and trying not to helicopter ) my daughters as they played hard, figured out how to work through the crowd and taking turns, and how to trust that I was there even if I was a couple of feet away admiring them. I thought about their unique and beautiful birth stories and how another mentored quote appeared in my head "it is your story to tell."

This blog will be their stories ( with interpretive help from dancing momma !)